2016 Valentine's Day Edition: Dating a Dude

Guys can be frustrating. I know. I am one. 

Have you ever been around a guy and just wished he noticed you more? You are probably friends, He's probably good looking, pretty funny, and seems like an all-around candidate to take home to mom and dad... but thinks of you as a friend, or worse, flirts with you and just won't ask you out?  

Have you thought, "what do I have to do to make this guy LIKE ME?!"

Like I said, guys are frustrating. 

Well you're in luck, as a certified man, I will let you in on some pointers that will instruct you in the ways of the man. Follow them, and I guarantee it will change your outlook on dating/relationships. Oh and by the way, it's probably not what you are expecting.

1. Work on You

Be honest. Why are you in to this guy? Seriously and honestly think about it. Is it because he's handsome and popular and you want to be a part of that? If you were JUST with him, your life would be better? 

If you answered yes to the questions above, you have disqualified yourself. You are not ready for a relationship. No guy will ever be your savior. First, he's not meant to, and second, think of what a huge burden (and turn off) that would be for the guy.  

It's OK to want to be in a relationship, but it's unhealthy to obsess over it. A relationship shouldn't complete you. If you think that, your expectations are way too high. 

Also, think about the type of girl a emotionally and spiritually healthy guy would want to date. Someone who is weak and can't function on their own, or someone who strengthens and builds up because she herself is strong. 

Weak men are attracted to shallow women. Why? Because it's easy. Don't be "that" girl. Attract strong, confident men. It's a choice!

2. Be Realistic

Guys are gross. Yeah, whenever you see THAT guy, he's probably so loaded up with Aqua Di Gio and hair gel that it hides the fact that he forgot to take a shower that day. With small exceptions, guys are guys. The Notebook? Titanic?  Give me a break. I am all about being chivalrous, but it's unrealistic to think that a Prince Charming, perfect, hair, perfect smile, perfect gentleman, is going to come in a sweet you off your feet, then maintain that for a lifetime. Not happening. Sorry ladies. 

Guys, for the most part, are gross, they fart, eat, leave messes, watch football, don't care about The Notebook, and are always horny. Get it? 

So what am I saying? That guy you’re into isn't perfect. You want him to like you? Take him off the pedestal and start seeing him for who he really is. You'll stop cooing and dreaming about your fake life with Mr. Not Perfect. 

Follow this step and one of two things will happen. One, you'll stop obsessing and actually be able to have a normal conversation with said guy. He might think you're cool, and not super weird for obsessing over him even though you barely know him. Or two, you'll realize he's not all that, then forget about him. Easy Peasy. 

3. Don't Look Too Hard

This goes back to the first two points. Stop obsessing! Start being the kind of person you would want to be with. Strong, confident, kind, giving, selfless, patient, peaceful, and sweet. You don't need someone to be whole. You already are. Your significant other should complement you, not define you. Start being you! 

Conclusion: If you haven't noticed, I kind of pulled a bait and switch on you. This post is about not so much about how to make a guy like you. It's about pushing you toward being the type of person that can be in a healthy relationship. As I have heard, healthy people help people and hurt people hurt people. Which side are you on?